I gave up reading the comic strips—they were very seldom funny—but, one day something in the HI AND LOIS strip caught my eye as I passed that section of the newspaper. Hi was reading the newspaper as Chip enters the room and says, “Dad, what does ‘generation gap’ mean?” (silence) “Dad?” (silence) “Dad?” As he leaves the room Chip muses, “I think I just found out.”

The generation gap is really a communication gap. This is what destroyed Jacob’s family to the point where in his old age he stated, “Few and evil have been my days”.

Jacob was a very prosperous man. He owned huge flocks of sheep and had twelve sons to care for them. But, Jacob failed in several important areas of parental responsibility that resulted in great loss to his family.

Jacob failed to spend time with his sons out there watching the flocks, and seeing for himself the problems they were having. He depended on word from Joseph as to what was going on out there in the pastures (v.2). This put Joseph in a bad light with his brothers and also caused Jacob to miss golden opportunities to instruct his sons in areas of godly attitudes and good relationships, and helping them deal with the problems they were having. Learning about those things second-hand shows lack of communication with his sons, and a failure to deal with those problems shows lack of concern as to their importance.

Jacob failed to teach Joseph how to exercise humble, godly leadership and gain the respect of his brothers before thrusting him into a position of authority over them. Giving Joseph a long coat of colors with long sleeves indicated a management position in contrast to the short coat with no sleeves worn by workers (v.3,4). This external sign of authority made it difficult for Joseph to earn the respect of his brothers and encouraged inappropriate boasting that made them hate him all the more.

Jacob failed to genuinely love all his children and communicate unconditional love to each one. He missed winning their hearts, which would have enabled them to accept the fact that Joseph’s position of authority was not favoritism but proper procedure. Reuben, the firstborn of Leah, had disqualified himself from a position of leadership by his grossly immoral conduct (Genesis 35:22). Jacob needed to explain to his sons that Joseph was next in line as the firstborn of Rachel. Joseph had a God given authority that was to be respected in the absence of the father.

Jacob failed to notice the growing hatred of his sons toward Joseph to the point that they could not even speak peaceably to him. Joseph’s dreams deepened the hatred of his brothers toward him and although Jacob rebuked Joseph for the second dream, he did nothing to help the other sons deal with their hatred. He was so detached from the dangerous condition of his family that he unwittingly placed Joseph into their hands by sending him on another spy mission, wearing the hated “coat of many colors.”

Unable to gain the attention of their father, the brothers hated the one who was robbing them of his affection. With Joseph gone perhaps Jacob would show love for them, but, instead, when Jacob lost Joseph, he shut out the ten brothers and refused to be comforted. Benjamin then became the object of Jacob’s affection.

Jacob still had no idea what he was doing to his family. The ten not only suffered the continued rejection of their father, but now had guilt over what they had done to their brother. Jacob’s self-centered life made both him and his children miserable, resulting in this pitiful summary of his life spoken to Pharaoh and found in Gen. 47:9, “Few and evil have been my days.”

Why do teens rebel? Although there may be many factors involved in teenage rebellion, certainly one of the primary ones is the communication gap.

A teenage shoplifter from a very well-to-do family was asked, “Why do you do this when your father could buy the whole store for you, and you have all the money you want? You have no need to steal. Why do you do this?” Her reply was, “It’s better than sitting home watching Dad sit there with his face in the TV, watching the football game.”

The communication gap is produced by a father all wrapped up in his own interests, with no time for the kids. The kids then try to get attention by hurting their dad, usually by also hurting themselves.

Alan King had a big name, a big income and was a very active philanthropist, but at the same time his kids, he said, “were on drugs and needed me at home.” He loaded them with things, but they wanted his affection and love. They were screaming for daddy. “I have always loved my children” King said, “but this is the first time I’ve ever showed them I love them. Now we show our affection.”

In Mal. 4:5-6, God says that in the last days, the task of the prophet Elijah will be to “Turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” What is that curse? It is the curse of rebellious children. That is a terrible curse. Birth pangs are a curse, but they are brief. Rebellious teens are a curse in the same category as birth pangs but with one exception – after hours or minutes of pain the newborn child in your arms is your delight, but a rebellious teen can make you suffer the rest of your life.

What is the answer? God says that first the heart of the father must be turned to the child because that is what the child wanted to begin with and will respond to. After Jacob’s sad words spoken to Pharaoh that his days had been few and evil, Jacob lived seventeen years in Egypt, enjoying the abundance provided by Joseph, and surrounded by all of his twelve sons, God gave Jacob’s family back to him and on his death bed he was able to personally pronounce a special blessing on each one.