Have you ever been disappointed? You worked hard and the promised big bonus turned out to be only $100, only a fraction of what you had expected. You had studied hard and were sure you would be getting an A in the course but could not believe the C+ you saw on your card. 1Kings 13 tells us the story of a disappointed prophet of God and how he handled that disappointment.

The nation of Israel had split into two kingdoms: ten tribes of the north formed the kingdom of Israel with Jeroboam as king, and the two remaining tribes to the south formed the kingdom of Judah, ruled by Rehoboam, the son of Solomon.

Jerusalem, the center of the worship of Jehovah, was in Judah. Jeroboam feared that if his people continued to worship in Jerusalem, they might turn back to the leadership of Rehoboam, Totally forgetting that God had given the kingdom to him without even a battle, Jeroboam felt he needed to fabricate a religion of his own that would keep his people from going down to Jerusalem to worship. He put one altar up north and another down at the southern border where he could seek to persuade any people heading to Jerusalem to just stay and do their worship there in Israel rather than going all the way down to Jerusalem.

Jeroboam was the self-appointed great high priest of his religion and was officiating at a great celebration he had proclaimed to coincide with an established feast of the Lord at Jerusalem. With thousands of people watching the ceremony, the Scriptures tell us:

"And, behold, there came a man of God out of Judah by the word of the LORD unto Bethel: and Jeroboam stood by the altar to burn incense. And he cried against the altar in the word of the LORD, and said, O altar, altar, thus saith the LORD; Behold, a child shall be born unto the house of David, Josiah by name; and upon thee shall he offer the priests of the high places that burn incense upon thee, and men's bones shall be burnt upon thee. And he gave a sign the same day, saying, This [is] the sign which the LORD hath spoken; Behold, the altar shall be rent, and the ashes that [are] upon it shall be poured out. (1Kings 13:1-3)

THE GREAT FAITH OF THE MAN OF GOD

We know very little about this man of God except that he was obviously a man of great faith in God and commitment to God to have traveled to an enemy nation at a time when thousands of worshipers would be gathered around the king as he officiated before the altar he had prepared. Risking his life, the prophet cried out God's message of judgment against that idolatrous worship.

Furious at the words of the man of God, Jeroboam with outstretched arm commanded his soldiers to take the man of God prisoner. At that moment the altar split, the ashes poured out and the king's arm withered and he was not able to pull it back to himself. He pleaded for the prophet to pray that God would heal him and restore the use of his arm. So the man of God prayed to the LORD, and the king's use of his arm was restored to him.

"And the king said unto the man of God, Come home with me, and refresh thyself, and I will give thee a reward. And the man of God said unto the king, If thou wilt give me half thine house, I will not go in with thee, neither will I eat bread nor drink water in this place: For so was it charged me by the word of the LORD, saying, Eat no bread, nor drink water, nor turn again by the same way that thou camest. So he went another way, and returned not by the way that he came to Bethel." (1Kings 13:7-10)

What a man of God! Such faith, courage, and commitment. Can I imagine myself going to a godless, dictator-controlled land and boldly interrupt the ceremony to proclaim the judgment of God on their celebration? Certainly the parents of this man of God had to be proud of him and feel that the years of training him for God were well spent.

One thing, however, disturbs us. In the man of God's refusal to go with the king we sense a chink in his armor. We suspect that there is one thing his parents failed to teach him that led to his destruction. As we continue to read the story our suspicions are confirmed.

THE SECRET PROBLEM OF THE MAN OF GOD

There was something bothering the man of God. Notice how he answered the king's offer of reward. Kings were wealthy and the man of God boasted that not even half of all the king owned would not be enough to tempt him to go with the king and receive a reward since the God of miracles had told him not to go. In those days men began the bargaining process by mentioning the top price, what they would really like to get. There was a desire for reward but at the same time an outward boasting of rejection of any small reward since going with the king would be violating the command of the powerful God who had just done three miracles in the king's presence. The king would be delighted to have someone in his court that could perform those kinds of miracles, but not at the steep price implied by the man of God.

The prophet then repeated the restriction that had been placed upon him, not that the ungodly king would care what God had told the prophet, but the prophet needed to repeat it so he could indulge in self-pity about how much he was sacrificing to serve God. This was a subtle indication of his disappointment with the restriction God had placed upon him of not even being able to accept a meal. After this dangerous preaching trip and powerful sermon was there nothing in it for himself?

The man of God was disappointed with God, pitied himself, and instead of quickly getting out of Israel he sat down under an oak tree to have a pity party and hope that God would change his mind. God had told him to go home a different route so he would not come across anyone who had just seen him going the other direction and might want to ask him what he was doing. This would hinder his rapid return to his homeland where he could then refresh himself. But the man of God could not give up hope that God still might change His mind if given a little more time.

So here comes the old backslidden prophet with a juicy lie straight from the father of lies to tell the disappointed man of God that God had indeed changed His mind and now it is really OK to eat and drink here after all. Self-pity makes it easy for us to be deceived. The man of God did not question the old prophet’s credentials: was he really a prophet; had an angel spoken to him; why did it contradict what God had already told him? Deep down in his heart he knew he was believing a lie. When we already want what is offered, we are eager to believe the lie that offers it. True obedience is when I receive God’s command, not as my obligation, but as my personal conviction and my greatest delight.

Why would the old prophet lie to him and talk him into returning to eat and drink? I am convinced that the backslidden old prophet sincerely believed it would really not hurt the man of God if he came back to eat with him. The old prophet had been disobeying God for years with no apparent consequences. (Of course God could not use him to bring the message of God's judgment against Jeroboam's idolatrous alter.) For the old prophet, telling little lies and not rebuking sin was a way of life. No big deal.

With backsliders the line between right and wrong is so fuzzy they don’t know where they really are and they like it that way. If you are having a pity party, you are looking for a way to justify what you want to do. The backslider is an expert to help you do it because he does it all the time. He is always finding ways of doing what he wants to do.

Fortunately many backsliders don’t go to church. But if one does get in the church he will go through the whole church helping all the pity party people do what they have been wanting to do all along, but lacked a good excuse. He can spot one in a crowd and provide them with the excuse they want. Backslidden preachers are good at helping people do what they want to do regardless of what God says about it. So, in our story the man of God was disappointed with God and fell into self-pity and was easily led into disobeying God.

"So he went back with him, and did eat bread in his house, and drank water. And it came to pass, as they sat at the table, that the word of the LORD came unto the prophet that brought him back:

And he cried unto the man of God that came from Judah, saying, Thus saith the LORD, Forasmuch as thou hast disobeyed the mouth of the LORD, and hast not kept the commandment which the LORD thy God commanded thee,

But camest back, and hast eaten bread and drunk water in the place, of the which [the LORD] did say to thee, Eat no bread, and drink no water; thy carcass shall not come unto the sepulcher of thy father.

And it came to pass, after he had eaten bread, and after he had drunk, that he saddled for him the ass, for the prophet whom he had brought back. And when he was gone, a lion met him by the way, and slew him: and his carcass was cast in the way, and the ass stood by it, the lion also stood by the carcass." (1Ki 13:19- 24)

When confronted with God's judgment for his sin, the man of God gave no evidence of surprise. He just kept on eating his meal as if nothing had happened. With the pronounced judgment the old prophet expressed no sorrow, nor did the man of God express any repentance. It is all very matter-of-fact as if he knew that some kind of judgment would come, but was pleased that it seemed to be far off, for the judgment dealt with his burial which could be many years away.
We are simply told that he finishes his meal and heads for home.

THE SUDDEN DEATH OF THE MAN OF GOD

The untimely death of the man of God was obviously of God. The lion killed him and did not eat him, but stayed to protect his corpse until the old prophet came and took the body and buried it in his own tomb. Why such a severe penalty? The man of God's powerful sermon and miracles (arm healed, alter split) gave him tremendous prestige. By eating with the old prophet he gave some of that prestige to the old backslider, so God had to openly show his great displeasure.

In effect, the Lord said to the man of God, you want to stay up here in this backslidden nation a little longer and have a nice meal? Fine. Stay up here you shall. So he was buried up there and never did leave. Buried in the grave of the backslidden prophet all because he was disappointed with God and felt sorry for himself. And so a story of glorious faith turns out to be a heart rending account of untimely death all because of self-pity. God had called him to extraordinary service. He accepted the service, but in his heart he was disappointed with the restriction God placed on him. One little meal would not hurt. I deserve better than what I am getting. He was disappointed with God and yielded to self-pity. Self-pity breaks down our defenses and prepares us to believe Satan's lies.

When Jesus told his disciples he was headed for the suffering and humiliation of the cross, Peter, one of Jesus most committed disciples, said, Lord, pity yourself, this must not happen to you. Jesus reply was, "Get behind me, Satan."

Where would we be today if Jesus had pitied himself? When even a good Christian friend or a pastor says you deserve better than what you are getting, what should you reply? Get behind me Satan. DESERVE BETTER? Dear friends, What is it that we really deserve? Hell! Once again. What is it we really deserve? HELL! So my friend, things are not nearly as bad as they could be. And they are not nearly as bad as they will be if we don't learn to forgive our disappointments before they destroy us.

Teenagers, filled with the hurts of disappointments that they were never taught to deal with are overcome with self-pity and easily find others who understand them and will help them find ways to express their resentment against those whom they feel disappointed them. Unless we as parents gain forgiveness for even the little hurts to our children, those disappointments can lead to self-pity and make them a prey to other resentful teens who will help them express their anger.

Teach and show your child how to FORGIVE disappointments or he will BE a disappointment. We will reap a harvest of rebellious children and grandchildren unless we learn to forgive our disappointments before they turn into destructive self-pity. Self-pity casts doubt on the goodness of God and can ruin my life and family and ministry.

What are some of the ways we can disappoint children and perhaps not even realize it.? (I am busy, don't bother me now, broken promises, divorcing their mom or dad and making them live out of a suitcase.)
What indications might children give that they have been disappointed? (go silent, withdrawn, anger, violence)

Lord, help us forgive the disappointments that come to us and then help us teach forgiveness to our children so that the seeds of self-pity might not produce in our families a horrible crop of rebellion.

A reference to the man of God appears again in 2Kings 23:17 when his burial place is discovered by King Josiah. There he is still referred to as "the man of God." We were never told his name and hundreds of years later God has arranged it so we must still call him simply "the man of God." God's forgiveness is so great and so complete that even though that prophet of great faith fell into disobedience, he was forgiven and his name will always be "the man of God."