First I want to read a medley of Scriptures that have been meaningful to me. From Proverbs 31, “Who can find a virtuous woman for her worth is far above rubies. From Ps. 45, “The king’s daughter is all glorious within.” and then in the New Testament 1 Peter 3:3-4 tells us, “Do not let your beauty be that outward adorning of the arranging of the hair, of wearing gold, or of putting on of fine apparel; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” And finally, a portion that just recently has come to have special meaning for me, Psalm 1. I would like to read just the first three verses. “Blessed is the man (or woman), that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful, but his delight is in the law of the Lord and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season. His leaf also shall not wither, and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.”

Each summer, during my two month break from teaching school, I start a special project. For my project this last summer I chose to look for “graciousness”. What is graciousness? What was I even looking for? Who did I see it in? What does the Bible say about it? In the process, I went to the Seminar in Basic Life Principles, and they encouraged us to begin memorizing Romans 6. I thought that Romans 6 had little to do with graciousness until the Lord began to work that chapter into my heart and life. During that time I was reading a variety books and studying the scriptures related to my project. The Lord began to fit things together and I started to write them down. When I was asked to speak tonight, I thought, ”Oh, imagine! I’m going to get to share all my findings.” I hope I say the right things in the right order because this is months of what God has been doing in my heart, and to give it to you in half an hour is going to be a challenge.

Somehow I’ve never seen Psalm 1 in quite this perspective before, but when I began thinking of inner beauty, I had to think of what it isn’t and some of the basic things to avoid. About a year ago when we had the Color Me Beautiful class we learned what things to avoid and what things to focus on. I don’t know what it has done for any of you, but as we’ve talked it has been fun to learn just what our colors are and how they complement us. It’s very liberating! I can shop with a lot more confidence now. I don’t even look at the rack that isn’t my color. And look at all the money I’ve saved besides! If it’s a sale and not my color, I’m not even tempted anymore. There’s a confidence and a freedom now.

In studying Inner Beauty, I find that if we know where the pitfalls are, that also gives us a freedom and a confidence that we are going in the right direction. Psalm 1 talks about 3 pitfalls, and I just couldn’t believe when I started looking into this that these fit into 3 basic root problems, bad attitudes, that we as human beings can pick up on. It says,”Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly”. The counsel of the ungodly is just the world’s wisdom and that which the world counts as success and what is good and wonderful and to be attained and to look for. All these are material things, temporal values, like how much money you have. I was conversing with a lady about the importance of our countenance. You would not have known she was a Christian from her countenance, because she was so wrapped up in her temporal values. She didn’t even want to make friends with people that didn’t have a certain status. She went to a certain church because it had a certain status. I thought what that woman was missing! She said she was a Christian. But she was all wrapped up in herself. Her husband was just a common worker. They weren’t an elite, affluent family. He had provided well but it was like she was trying to put on an appearance of status. I thought, “How sad!” I had to feel sorry for her. She was trying to be more than what she was. She was very discontent, always wanting something more, the newest things, whether in clothes or in her house. Sure it’s fun to remodel our homes and have something new, but, to be constantly discontent, was really telling on her. I think this is what happens when we get into temporal values. It can really build up bitterness in us and so we begin comparing and coveting, just like this lady. She was so boastful; she was not nice to be around. You just didn’t want to be around her because you thought, Oh, lady you have your reward, because you have just what you want but you have nothing else! It really spoke to me forcefully, because we jokingly say “money isn’t everything, but a little more would help a lot.” However, I would not want to trade places with her because of her attitude. Inner beauty is basically attitude, attitudes that are attractive. So we want to be aware of worldly counsel and avoid getting sucked into this world’s temporal values, that money and things are it, because that isn’t it at all.

Then Psalm 1 continues by saying,” nor standeth in the way of sinners” and I thought, that doesn’t really fit a Christian very well, in the way of sinners! We read about all the terrible things that are going on in our world today, and it’s so open! That doesn’t fit the Christian woman! Sometimes we have to be careful not to take on immorality vicariously. What TV programs do we watch? What magazines do we read? What kind of novels do we read? We might not really want someone else to know that we read that book or magazine or story. We might not be too proud of it. It is also easy to get caught up in soap operas, and we need to be careful about getting involved in things that do not help us to develop inner beauty and moral purity.

I like to read. In the summertime especially, I like to read volumes and I asked the Lord to give me the right books this summer. I was very grateful for our church library as it was very helpful. Although there were some novels that had a real point to them, some of the other books were true stories, like biographies and I shed tears! They were more tremendous than even a novel could get. So I think we have to watch more carefully what allow into our life.

Psalm One then continues “nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful”. A Christian woman can easily fall into this pitfall. The seat of the scornful can be bitterness. When something happens and it doesn’t turn out my way, how do I take it? When I was a young Christian, I used to feel so badly for people that got to be victims of their circumstances. A Bible School student would have something happen at home and they would have to leave school, no fault of their own. And I thought, oh how awful, that’s not fair, that’s not right, and I could almost get angry inside just because it wasn’t fair to them. I thought about when I’ve been caught in things that weren’t my fault that I had no power to control. I was a victim of circumstances and that is really hard to take. I’m glad that God gives us grace at that time, so we don’t have to have resentment. For a many years, I wondered if the day would ever come when my first response would be to turn to God rather than, “Just let me wallow in this misery for a while, don’t talk me out of it, I just want to be mad and don’t give me your advice but just let me be miserable for at least 48 hours! But then my husband would remind me, “Well, there are times when you respond godly first and you’re not seeing it. You don’t realize you responded properly because you didn’t have to go through all the misery.”

It’s true! I began to realize that we don’t have to listen to the scornful and the bitter thoughts that destroy a meek and quiet spirit. I knew that God tells us in I Peter 3:4 that women ought to have a meek and quiet spirit, but I thought it meant that you had to be a quiet woman. The Lord didn’t make me that way and how am I going to be meek and quiet? At school they used to tease me about my loud voice because they never had to have a microphone for Norma. You know, loud and strong, and one of my children said, why do I have to be like you – always talking, why can’t I just be quiet? Well, I realize that some people have to study to talk and some people have to study to be quiet. One of the books I read this summer, talked about a meek and quiet “SPIRIT”. It’s like I’d never seen that word before. My spirit within, was to be quiet. No anger, no fear, no worry. That took such a load off my shoulders! No anger, no fear, no worry! Those are the things that disturb our spirit. We worry about our children, worry about things that aren’t going to happen anyway, we build resentments, we become angry. I thought when I was first saved that the Lord would help me not to lose my temper. But the anger just stayed within and smoldered inside me. Several years later I had to take some counseling classes and they told me that my profile showed hostility! What a horrible thing to call it! Hostility! Well, we had sort of a joke in our family that mother didn’t get mad, she just got enthused. And when I mentioned that to the counselor, he said, “You know what enthused means? It means God filled. And when you’re angry you’re not very filled with God.” I had to change my image with the family of being an enthusiastic mother, always upset about something.

So these three attitudes: bitterness, moral impurity, and temporal values, are to be avoided like the wrong colors of the clothing on the rack. We are not going to give way to those because they are the roots that produce disaster in our lives and even show up in our countenance. We can put on all the cream and cosmetics we want to and have face lifts or whatever, but if we lack a meek and a quiet spirit, its absence will be seen on our faces.

So, after seeing all the things inner beauty isn’t, what really is it? I like the idea that it’s my spirit being under God’s control. It’s the tranquility that He gives within. Perhaps God has a different way for each one of us to attain it. God has made us all very, very individual and what might be a real struggle for me might not be a struggle at all for you. What would be easy for me might not be for you. So ask God for that individual aspect of inner beauty that He has for you.

One thing I found is that God does use our struggles and frustrations and difficulties to help us, and gives us grace to face them. If you will take the grace it will produce the beauty, if you don’t take the grace then it will produce bitterness and the things that go with it: a sad countenance, the vain glory, or envy, or whatever.

I realize I can’t just sit back and wait for inner beauty to appear. Nor can I just will to make it happen myself. It’s not easy; it’s not just going to go “zappo”, a beautiful spirit. It’s just not going to happen that way. We must be obeying and doing what God wants us to do, pleasing Him in things he shows us day by day. Psalm 1, it shows us the answer and we all know what it is. It’s just hard to keep with it. A happy, joyous person is one who delights in the law of the Lord. I’m sure if I ever mentioned that to any of my co-workers at school, they would think I had lost my sanity – that you would find joy, and peace and delight in God’s Word. To them the Bible is a stuffy book that maybe your grandmother had on the shelf, but you wouldn’t read it yourself. Just think, you’d delight in it. This is what Psalm 1 tells us. If you want to avoid these pitfalls of destruction, you must be daily meditating on and delighting in God’s word.

Through some of the difficult experiences God has brought into my life His word has become a new delight in my life. I’ve had to build what I call a special awareness of Him in His word. I guess I would say my inner beauty kit is composed of two books – my Bible and my notebook. My notebook has become almost like a friend. I don’t know if I have carried it too far or not. I really get anxious to write in my life notebook. The Lord has really led in some very specific ways to use it.

First thing I did was to set down my life goal because I felt that if I was going to be more what God wanted me to be, if I were to be going in His direction, if I wanted to know what to pray for, if I wanted to know if I ever got there, I ought to write down my life goal. I just share these things with you; you can take them for what they’re worth. I had one life goal, my inward goal: to see myself decrease and God increase as my unpleasant characteristics of self are crucified and a meek and quiet spirit becomes a way of life unto God. No worry, no fear, no anger. Outwardly, my goal is to leave a mark on others whom my life touches that will point them to God. I desire to bring glory to God in specific ways of pleasing Him and my prayer there is, “show me Lord how to do this”. How can I bring glory to my husband and be a credit to him and take care of all of his needs; to see our children spiritually settled and fruitful; and then to take strength day by day for what God has for me and leave the pain or freedom from pain with Him.

These are what I set up to work on so far. God may have me add to them, but this is what I started with. I know I will get direction and wonderfully, during this summer, God has begun to fulfill part of the inward change. I don’t know how many times lately something has come up, and I think my husband thinks that I’m going to be ticked with it and then I’m not! I don’t even feel like I want to be ticked and it’s really a tremendous liberation. It’s like, no big deal, you know? It’s ok, it doesn’t matter, I can change my plans, and I can honestly say it doesn’t matter, it really doesn’t matter. And that has really been exciting to me to see how God makes that tranquility inside of me constant. I don’t say it happens every, every time, I’m not perfect yet but it’s just tremendous to see it happen once in a while. To realize I don’t have to either grit my teeth, or think why does it have to happen nor do I have to worry but I can take it and its’ just been really super.

This school year I began giving God a chance. It’s amazing how God takes care of things when you give them to Him. I am thrilled over and over again how God is meeting my needs in the classroom this year and what a different attitude it has given me over last year.

Besides my goal, I also asked God for a prayer list that I should have for reaching out and praying for others. I was encouraged by one of the books I read, to begin a daily gratitude diary. This is what has been fun in my notebook – to write down the things God has done that are answers to prayer. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. One answer this morning was that I found my stapler. It was in all my mess of school stuff downstairs and (you have no idea) boxes and boxes of stuff I haven’t taken back to school yet. I asked the Lord if I could just have that stapler, because I needed an extra stapler. He found it for me, and I wrote it down in my notebook because it’s that moment by moment contact with God that makes life really exciting. I have it under G in my notebook for Gratitude and these are just things the Lord has done. It is so much fun to go back and read them. Is that what God did back there? I would have forgotten them otherwise.

I had a Life Notebook for a long, long time but I was never able to use it like my little notebook now. It’s easier to get at and I just fill the pages I want to fill. I find that God gives somewhere around 15 to 20 real answers to prayer that I can thank Him for, every week. Now, I’m sure, if I did it more consistently, I could find many more. Sometimes they come in bunches, several on one day, and then sometimes I think I just wasn’t aware of them on other days. It’s been a very, very exciting thing because it builds an awareness of God in my life. Many times I’ve been able to share something because I had written it down. It impresses you more when you write it down. I’ve just been rejoicing in having a place to write down God’s special things that He has answered in prayer or reminded me of or for something that He’s done for me that I didn’t even ask for.

Another thing that’s helped me is (this might be a little presumptuous) but I even started a “Bonus List”. It may be for something I don’t really need, but maybe God would be pleased to give it to me anyway. God is answering one already. It may work out that we can go to Denver to see Judy for Christmas. That to me is a bonus! That is God’s extra abundance and it gives me real joy in what He loves to do. He may decide, “No, I’m, not going to do that for you”. So, I’m just looking forward to what God wants, giving Him that expectation.

Then, I don’t know if this is really the way you ought to do it, but I have started writing out some of my prayers, and that has made them very meaningful to me. Just to write to God. I write to my mother every week, so why can’t I just write to God? It is very interesting that you pray in a different way when you write than you do when you pray audibly. It has been an important part of my devotions to write a prayer to God, especially for things for my own personal life. And so, I’m finding that probably the thing that’s helping me and the reason I started calling my notebook my beauty kit is because when I put my communication with God in writing (gratitude to Him, prayers to Him, expectations from Him) when I write them all down I can’t tell you what closeness it gives me with God. When Scripture says, “Delight in Him, day and night”, it’s not difficult at all. I am just constantly aware of what He wants to do. And as I shared some of these things with my husband, he remarks, “Oh, that’s why you did that, or that’s why you’re reacting this way or that way.” It’s been rather interesting to see his reactions to it, after all these years of blowing my top or getting enthused! (I think “enthused” is a lot nicer word than “hostility”!) But anyway, I’m glad that the Lord has been working in me. I don’t know about you, but I can be genuinely enthused and I don’t have to get angry and then make excuses.

Some of the teachers at school said that they had a temper problem and have finally gotten it down to where they could bang a trash can with their tennis shoe. But that’s the world’s wisdom that’s not the way God wants to work. Anger is like a headache. Anger is only a symptom of bitterness, not wanting to give God my expectations and my rights. It’s so exciting when I give them to Him. I can say with all my heart “whatever You want to do is fine”.

One of the thoughts I wrote out on paper was, “Why do I love God?”

Lord I love you because You first loved me,
Even when I was rebellious and hateful against You.
You turned me from my way to show me a better way.
You changed my desires and purposes.
You’ve provided every need, physically and spiritually.
You’ve given me a godly husband to learn of you together, to share together, to serve together.
You’ve given me three children who are saved by your grace.
Help me to be intelligently seeking to grow and serving you better.
You’ve given an interest and desire to work with children and You have provided the opportunity for that ministry through the church and through the school.
This, Lord, is why I love you!

- Norma Dyksterhouse