We often hear it said that good Christians fall by the wayside because they stop reading the Bible and praying. That is not true. Actually they stop reading the Bible and praying because they have already fallen by the wayside. We see this illustrated in Paul’s pleadings with the believers in Ephesians chapter 3.

Paul in Ephesians chapter three explains to the church the situation in which he finds himself. He tells them that he is a prisoner in Rome, but he mentions nothing of any sufferings or inconveniences. He explains that he is a prisoner simply because he preaches that they and all Gentiles can be saved without becoming Jews. Due to this preaching the Jews hate him and are determined to do away with him.

Actually this teaching appears in the very Scriptures that the Jews claim to believe, but they refuse to admit this because they want to silence Paul. Paul, however, knows he is a minister of the Gospel, appointed by God and thus the disapproval of the Jewish legalists means nothing to him. He realizes that he is just a humble preacher, not famous like the High Priest and the Sanhedrin, nevertheless, this is God’s message committed to Paul and the other apostles. God wants all men to see how He has outwitted Satan. The devil thought he had God’s truth all sewed up because the Jews not only refused the truth, but blocked the door to the truth so that no Gentiles could get to it either. God, however, made a new door.

God’s new door was a mystery that had been prophesied in the Law, the Psalms and the Prophets. This new door was a new and living way that gives bold, direct access to God by faith and is for all men. The Jews were left blocking a useless door and they hated Paul, calling him a heretic, a traitor, a nondescript. This did not bother Paul, but he was concerned that it might bother the Ephesians.

The danger was that the Ephesians might faint or draw back because of the grave injustice of Paul’s imprisonment. So he warns them not to become bitter against God nor against Rome, nor against the Jews. God is allowing this injustice because it is for their good and God’s glory. Paul rejoiced that God was allowing him to suffer for preaching that Gentiles could be saved without converting to Judaism. For them to become bitter against the Jews or Rome for persecuting Paul was to take up a third person hurt, something they had no power to resolve. If someone hurts you, you can go to them and get it resolved, but if someone hurts your friend the danger is that you take up the offense and that bitterness will destroy you.

Countless times as I visited homes in my neighborhood I encountered people who professed to be Christians, but were not attending church nor reading the Bible. When I asked why they had stopped they would invariably come up with some form of a third person hurt.

One couple explained that her father was a pastor and the church that he had served for many years simply dismissed him when he was old and not well, telling him to vacate the parsonage and refusing to give him any kind of retirement benefit. This couple was so filled with bitterness for the way her father had been treated that they wanted nothing more to do with church or Christians.

It hurts us to see someone we love suffer unjustly, and the only way we think we can get vengeance is to become bitter against the offender. A pastor unloads church problems on his wife. She loves him, but there is nothing she can do about it except despise those who are bringing concern to her husband. These pressures begin to bring physical consequences upon her and her doctor tells the pastor he should leave the ministry due to the poor health of his wife.

A deacon unloads board problems on his wife. She falls into depression and has no desire to go to church. The deacon could go to the board and resolve his hurt, but his wife has no way to express her hurt except to become bitter against the board. Meanwhile the board resolves the problem, but the deacon neglects to inform his wife and she continues bitter over a problem that has been resolved.

Parents unload church problems in front of their children and then are surprised when the children no longer desire to attend church. This is why Paul does not tell the Ephesians any of the details of his prison sufferings. He wants to protect them from taking up an offense out of their love for him. On the contrary he stresses that his confinement is for their good. He rejoices in it and they should also. God is not helpless. He is working out his good purposes for Paul and for them. So when someone comes to unload on you, explain that they need to talk to the person who has offended them. Then pray with them that God will give them strength and wisdom as to how best to resolve their hurt. Don’t pick up the hurt yourself, but pass it on to God.

Paul refused to unload his problems on the brethren. He did not want them to get upset about what he was suffering in the will of God. He rejoices that there is a new, wide open door to heaven. Satan wants to block that door by getting Christians to draw back and block the doorway. These people blocking the door are not necessarily immoral or atheistic, just spiritually uninterested persons who have friends or family that have been hurt by Christians. The hardest unbeliever to talk to about Christ is one who knows a Christian who has fallen by the wayside. That kind of gospel has no appeal. God, however, has opened a new door to heaven; let’s keep the doorway clear.